Hello friends. I have returned for the summer.


Significant Info

The way you hear yourself talk is not the same way that others hear you talk. Bone conduction occurs when sound travels through your bones. You are hearing yourself through your bones and through the air while others only hear you through the air. This is why you sound so weird on videos. This is why you’re a lot shittier singer than you think.

Ralph Lauren Undies

The other day I decided to do my laundry. I was excited to bring my warm bundle of clothes back to my dorm after they spent an hour in the dryer. Although I could have slept in the warmth of my clean mass of clothes, I built up the motivation to put them back into their drawers. However, the first thing I pulled from my laundry bag wasn’t a pair of my cotton shorts, but the undies of a man. A white pair of Ralph Lauren undies. In my laundry.

These are the sophisticated undies of a big boy.
These are the sophisticated undies of a big boy.

I was so confused; when I was in the laundry room earlier, I double checked to make sure my machines didn’t have anyone else’s clothes in them. Did someone accidentally throw their undies into my laundry thinking it was their machine? These are pretty expensive undies. I don’t see how anyone could be so careless with such a valuable piece of clothing.

I am conflicted about what I’m supposed to do. I would like to keep them. They would be nice as pajama shorts. Everyone would admire my expensive taste in pajama shorts. Is that unsanitary though? I also want to find the owner of these undies because they’re nice undies and I’m sure someone is missing them. Do I post a lost and found ad on the bulletin boards in my building? How do I describe these? I feel like people will think I am a weirdo who takes expensive undies from boys. Do I pin the actual undies to a bulletin board? I am worried someone else with a fine taste for men’s undies will steal them. Help.

I Don’t Want Candy

Lizzie McGuire heartthrob Aaron Carter followed me on Twitter two days ago. However, I was more concerned than excited. I wasn’t even following the 2000’s one-hit wonder in the first place. There must’ve been a reason why he decided to follow me, or he’s just that desperate for reacclaimed fame. I decided to follow him back to be nice.

However, after two days of following Aaron Carter, I decided I didn’t want to follow him anymore. I made the hard decision to unfollow him.

My Twitter while following Aaron Carter.
My Twitter after unfollowing Aaron Carter.
I feel as if a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. No hurt feelings, Aaron.

Decorative Wall Art

My dorm room’s wall is on point today. I feel comforted by the explosion of artwork happening next to my bed. 

Wall on fleek.
Me admiring my stick-on tree.

The only thing grinding my gears is the open space next to my monkey photograph (taken by Taylor Sixbury). I hope to soon find a piece with enough expression to fill that gap.

I recommend that everyone find a strong admiration for decorative wall art. It will fill your walls with wonder.